Gen Z Singles Are Trying to Make ‘Solomaxxing’ Aspirational
Gen Z Singles Are Trying to Make ‘Solomaxxing’ Aspirational
Z世代单身族正试图让“独身至上”（Solomaxxing）成为一种向往
Carmen Hyden’s fixation with solomaxxing started after coming out of an intense two-year relationship. “The idea of rushing into another one felt impossible,” she says. 卡门·海登（Carmen Hyden）对“独身至上”（solomaxxing）的痴迷始于一段为期两年的紧张关系结束之后。“那种急于投入下一段感情的想法让我觉得根本不可能，”她说。
In the nearly three years since the breakup, Hyden, 28, has stopped dating and focused exclusively on herself. She started traveling solo and reading more, tried out paddleboarding, road cycling, and bouldering. She also picked up meditation and breathwork, created a walking club, and began working as a skin therapist at Facegym in London, where she lives. 在分手后的近三年里，28岁的海登停止了约会，将全部精力集中在自己身上。她开始独自旅行、阅读，尝试了桨板冲浪、公路自行车和抱石运动。她还开始练习冥想和呼吸法，创办了一个步行俱乐部，并开始在她居住的伦敦 Facegym 担任皮肤治疗师。
Solomaxxing—also sometimes referred to as singlemaxxing, alonemaxxing or bymyselfmaxxing—is a new-ish trend among young people who intentionally choose to stay single and prioritize their own independence over dating. “独身至上”（Solomaxxing）——有时也被称为“单身至上”（singlemaxxing）、“孤独至上”（alonemaxxing）或“自我至上”（bymyselfmaxxing）——是年轻人中一种较新的趋势，他们有意选择保持单身，并将个人独立性置于约会之上。
For Hyden, the experience has been freeing. “It’s changed the way being single feels. It’s no longer something to fix or move on from,” she tells WIRED via email. For her, the trend removes the stigma of being unmarried and alone, and recasts it as something to aspire to, not avoid. 对海登来说，这种经历让她感到自由。“它改变了单身的感觉。单身不再是一件需要去‘修复’或‘摆脱’的事情，”她通过电子邮件告诉《连线》（WIRED）杂志。对她而言，这种趋势消除了未婚和独身的污名，并将其重塑为一种值得向往而非回避的状态。
As these trends often do, solomaxxing blew up on TikTok in recent months as Gen Z flocked there to document and discuss their frustrations with the rising cost of dating. In the US, inflation has spiked to a three-year high, causing gas and groceries to skyrocket (the surge was sparked by shipping disruptions in the Strait of Hormuz, a result of the US and Israel’s war with Iran). The average all-in cost of a date in 2026 increased to $189, up 12.5 percent from 2025, a rate that is outpacing the cost of living according to a BMO Real Financial Progress Index report from earlier this year. 正如许多此类趋势一样，“独身至上”近几个月在 TikTok 上爆火，Z 世代纷纷涌入该平台，记录并讨论他们对日益高涨的约会成本的挫败感。在美国，通货膨胀率飙升至三年来的最高点，导致汽油和食品杂货价格飞涨（这一激增是由霍尔木兹海峡的航运中断引发的，这是美国和以色列与伊朗战争的结果）。根据今年早些时候 BMO 真实财务进展指数（BMO Real Financial Progress Index）的报告，2026 年平均每次约会的总成本增加到 189 美元，比 2025 年增长了 12.5%，这一增长速度超过了生活成本的涨幅。
In the UK, where Hyden lives, a study by British bank Barclays found adults spend more than £111 per month ($147) on dates and dating apps, with 52 percent of Gen Z adults saying the added expense has stopped them from dating altogether. This reality has even forced some dating apps to resort to offering free gas to motivate daters. 在海登居住的英国，英国巴克莱银行（Barclays）的一项研究发现，成年人每月在约会和约会软件上的花费超过 111 英镑（147 美元），其中 52% 的 Z 世代成年人表示，额外的开支让他们完全停止了约会。这一现实甚至迫使一些约会软件不得不提供免费汽油来激励用户约会。
But for Hyden, solomaxxing has nothing to do with financial woes and everything to do with “building a life that feels full on its own terms,” she says. “Being alone means no one is triggering you or pulling you out of your own rhythm.” She says solomaxxing for her isn’t actually about avoiding people but tapping into her potential through new hobbies, rituals, and self-discovery, which she’s happy to spend money on. “There’s no loneliness filling the gaps, just contentment.” 但对海登来说，“独身至上”与经济困境无关，而与“按照自己的方式建立充实的生活”有关，她说。“独处意味着没有人会触发你的情绪，也不会打乱你的节奏。”她说，对她而言，“独身至上”实际上并不是为了避开他人，而是通过新的爱好、仪式和自我发现来挖掘自己的潜力，她很乐意为此花钱。“生活中没有孤独的空隙，只有满足感。”
Bella DePaulo, a social scientist and author of Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, sees this as a positive evolution for Gen Z, particularly for how it rejects the long-established belief that marriage, to borrow from millennial lexicon, is peak relationship goals. 社会科学家、《单身之心：单身生活的力量、自由与充实快乐》（Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life）一书的作者贝拉·德保罗（Bella DePaulo）认为，这对 Z 世代来说是一种积极的演变，特别是它拒绝了长期以来认为婚姻是“终极关系目标”（借用千禧一代的词汇）的既定观念。
“It is such a remarkable twist, after decades in which marriage was seen as a sign of societal and personal stability. People who married were said to have ‘settled down.’ The irony is that single life, for people who want to be single, is completely stable. It is marriage that is unstable,” DePaulo says, adding that it can be undone by all manner of things, including separation, divorce, or the death of a spouse. “这是一个非常显著的转折，在过去几十年里，婚姻一直被视为社会和个人稳定的标志。人们常说结婚的人是‘安定下来了’。讽刺的是，对于那些想要单身的人来说，单身生活才是完全稳定的。反而是婚姻不稳定，”德保罗说。她补充道，婚姻可能会因各种原因而破裂，包括分居、离婚或配偶去世。
The term solomaxxing comes from Gen Z’s ongoing hyperfixation with personal self-enhancement: how you look (“looksmaxxing”), what you eat (“proteinmaxxing”), where you find pleasure (“nutmaxxing”). The ridiculousness of the whole maxxing trend aside, there is some substance to what solomaxxing attempts to redefine when it comes to how people think about the future of relationships, and all the ways relationships have changed. “独身至上”一词源于 Z 世代对个人自我提升的持续过度关注：外表（“颜值至上” looksmaxxing）、饮食（“蛋白至上” proteinmaxxing）、快乐来源（“营养至上” nutmaxxing）。撇开整个“至上”趋势的荒谬性不谈，在人们如何思考未来关系以及关系发生的所有变化方面，“独身至上”试图重新定义的内容确实具有一定的实质意义。
A new survey from analytics firm MyIQ on dating burnout found that nearly half of adults aged 18 to 34 say being single feels more peaceful than being in a relationship, while 42 percent of respondents said being paired interferes with personal goals, financial stability, or self-development. 分析公司 MyIQ 关于约会倦怠的一项新调查发现，近一半 18 至 34 岁的成年人表示，单身比处于恋爱关系中感觉更平静，而 42% 的受访者表示，结伴会干扰个人目标、财务稳定或自我发展。
Different relationship structures emerge as new generations define what love looks like for them. In recent years, more flexible romantic practices like ethical nonmonogamy and relationship anarchy have become even more mainstream. But despite Gen Z having more options than previous generations to romantically connect with one another, young people are electing to stay single. 随着新一代人定义他们心目中的爱情，不同的关系结构应运而生。近年来，道德非一夫一妻制（ethical nonmonogamy）和关系无政府主义（relationship anarchy）等更灵活的浪漫实践变得更加主流。但尽管 Z 世代比前几代人拥有更多的浪漫连接选择，年轻人却选择保持单身。
“It is part of a long history in which women and men have been transcending rigid gender roles, and queer people have been feeling less pressure to fake heterosexuality,” DePaulo says. “这是女性和男性超越僵化性别角色，以及酷儿群体感受到伪装异性恋压力减轻这一漫长历史的一部分，”德保罗说。
In his book The Intimate Animal, Justin Garcia, director of sex research center the Kinsey Institute, suggests that there is almost no other society in cross-cultural literature where this many adults have been single at a given time. “We may be on the shoreline ahead of a global singledom wave,” he writes. 金赛研究所（Kinsey Institute）性研究中心主任贾斯汀·加西亚（Justin Garcia）在他的著作《亲密动物》（The Intimate Animal）中指出，在跨文化文献中，几乎没有其他社会像现在这样有如此多的成年人同时处于单身状态。“我们可能正站在全球单身浪潮的前沿，”他写道。
Almost half of the adult population in the US is single (42 percent), according to 2023 Pew study, which notes that “even though the share of adults who are unpartnered has ticked down and the share who are married has inched up, it is not the case that more people are getting married.” In fact, more adults are rejecting marriage altogether, and some 80 percent of one-parent family groups are maintained by a single mother. 根据皮尤研究中心（Pew）2023 年的一项研究，美国近一半的成年人口（42%）是单身。该研究指出，“尽管未结伴的成年人比例略有下降，已婚比例略有上升，但这并不意味着更多的人在结婚。”事实上，更多的成年人正在完全拒绝婚姻，约 80% 的单亲家庭由单身母亲维持。
But singlehood, despite efforts from MAGA world to promote Christian family values and turn women into trad wives, is not a cage for Gen Z. Some of them appreciate the single life for the peace and autonomy it offers, cherishing the time they have to themselves instead of fearing it. 但是，尽管“让美国再次伟大”（MAGA）阵营努力推崇基督教家庭价值观并试图将女性变成“传统妻子”（trad wives），单身生活对 Z 世代来说并不是一个牢笼。他们中的一些人欣赏单身生活带来的平静与自主，珍惜属于自己的时间，而不是对此感到恐惧。
“Bymyselfmaxxing until I find someone whose company I enjoy more than my own,” @raspbbymel posted on TikTok in June. “保持‘自我至上’，直到我找到一个我比喜欢自己更喜欢与之相处的人，” TikTok 用户 @raspbbymel 在六月份发帖写道。
The trend is also part of a larger rebrand happening online when it comes to being single, and what that looks like today. The term heterofatalism entered the zeitgeist last year, and in October, Vogue wondered, “Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?” 这种趋势也是网络上关于“单身”及其现代面貌更大规模品牌重塑的一部分。“异性恋宿命论”（heterofatalism）一词去年进入了时代精神，十月份，《Vogue》杂志甚至发问：“现在有男朋友是一件尴尬的事吗？”
On TikTok, creators have even started loneliness influencing, where they record POV videos of their introverted lifestyles and post about hav… 在 TikTok 上，创作者们甚至开始了“孤独影响”（loneliness influencing），他们录制自己内向生活方式的 POV（第一人称视角）视频，并发布关于……的内容。