This German Man Is on a Quest to Cut the Perfect Slice of Bread
This German Man Is on a Quest to Cut the Perfect Slice of Bread
这位德国男子正致力于切出完美的吐司面包
Fine precision German engineering has long been a selling point for exports like machinery and cars. But have you ever considered bringing that kind of exactitude to the breakfast table? Wouldn’t your morning toast be improved by a little math? Shouldn’t your day start with elegantly—nay, exquisitely proportioned food? 长期以来，精密的德国工程技术一直是机械和汽车等出口产品的卖点。但你有没有想过将这种严谨带到早餐桌上？你的晨间吐司难道不应该因为一点数学计算而变得更完美吗？你的一天难道不应该从优雅——不，是精致到极致的食物开始吗？
If the answer to any or all of these questions is “yes,” you’re bound to vibe with Jan, a German man better known online as Germanbreadcutter. Since February, he has amassed more than 100,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube thanks to a single surprising skill: his ability to slice bread so evenly that you’d swear it wasn’t cut by hand. 如果对这些问题中的任何一个或全部，你的回答是“是的”，那么你一定会对 Jan 产生共鸣。这位德国男子在网上更广为人知的名字是“Germanbreadcutter”。自二月以来，他凭借一项令人惊叹的技能在 Instagram、TikTok 和 YouTube 上积累了超过 10 万名粉丝：他切面包的均匀程度，让你绝对不敢相信这是手工切出来的。
Jan, who requested that WIRED withhold his last name to avoid having coworkers learn of his social media presence, was inspired to launch his channels after one breakfast when a friend cut a particularly magnificent slice of bread and held it up for him to admire. “I was deeply impressed,” he recalls. “Since that moment, life hasn’t been the same. Every single time I cut a loaf of bread now, my ultimate goal is to make the cut as perfect as I possibly can.” Jan 要求《连线》（WIRED）杂志隐去他的姓氏，以免同事发现他的社交媒体账号。他开设频道的灵感源于一次早餐：当时一位朋友切出了一片极其完美的面包，并举起来让他欣赏。“我深受震撼，”他回忆道，“从那一刻起，生活就不一样了。现在，我每次切面包时，终极目标都是尽可能地切出最完美的一片。”
The challenge is simple and undeviating. Every day, Jan places a loaf of bread on a cutting board, wishes his fans a “good bread-cutting morning,” then says he is going to “see how accurate we can slice today.” Next, using either a Piklohas or Hoshanho bread knife (German and Japanese brands, respectively), he attempts to cleave a slice of totally uniform thickness. Once the slice is separated, he measures it around the edges with a digital caliper tool made by Kynup, a manufacturer owned by a Chinese company. His goal is as little deviation as possible between measuring points, and he measures fluctuations in his accuracy with a continuously updated “breadsheet.” 挑战简单且始终如一。每天，Jan 都会把一条面包放在砧板上，祝粉丝们“切面包的早晨好”，然后说他要“看看今天能切得有多精准”。接着，他使用 Piklohas 或 Hoshanho 面包刀（分别是德国和日本品牌），试图切出一片厚度完全均匀的面包。切好后，他会用 Kynup（一家中国公司旗下的制造商）生产的数字卡尺测量边缘。他的目标是让测量点之间的偏差尽可能小，并用一份不断更新的“面包表”（breadsheet）来记录他精准度的波动。
Mundane as that may sound, the reactions are anything but, particularly when Jan manages to get within a millimeter—sometimes even a fraction of a millimeter—of an objectively flawless slice. The comments on his currently reigning “Golden Slice,” which he cut on June 27 for episode 136, achieving a maximum thickness deviation of just 0.08 mm, are nothing short of ecstatic. “Best performance in sports history,” wrote one fan. “One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen,” another declared. “THE APEX. THE CLIMAX. HE DID IT. NO MACHINE CAN BEAT HIM,” reads the top-liked comment. 听起来虽然平淡无奇，但观众的反应却截然不同，尤其是当 Jan 切出的面包片与客观上的完美仅差一毫米——有时甚至只有几分之一毫米时。他在 6 月 27 日第 136 期节目中切出的“黄金切片”（Golden Slice），最大厚度偏差仅为 0.08 毫米，评论区简直是一片狂欢。“体育史上最伟大的表现，”一位粉丝写道。“这是我见过最美的事物之一，”另一位感叹道。点赞最高的评论写道：“巅峰。高潮。他做到了。没有任何机器能打败他。”
Jan is amazed at the support he’s found for his niche hobby. “I am completely overwhelmed by the community,” he tells WIRED. “Maybe the viewers feel the exact same way I did back when my friend cut that slice,” he reflects. “And I hope that many of my viewers are now inspired to get intensely into the bread-cutting sport themselves.” Jan 对他这项小众爱好所获得的关注感到惊讶。“我完全被这个社区的热情淹没了，”他告诉《连线》杂志。“也许观众们的感觉和我当初看到朋友切出那片面包时一模一样，”他反思道，“我希望我的许多观众现在也能受到启发，全身心地投入到切面包这项‘运动’中来。”
To that end, Jan offers links to buy the same specialty tools he relies on; he makes sure to select pieces that were available worldwide. And while he doesn’t currently have promotional deals with those brands, it hardly feels out of the question. He’s a superstar, after all. 为此，Jan 提供了他所使用的专业工具的购买链接，并确保这些产品在全球范围内都能买到。虽然他目前还没有与这些品牌达成推广协议，但这并非不可能。毕竟，他现在可是个超级明星。
Jan’s day job has nothing to do with the food business, he says, nor has he ever baked his own bread. “We have so many incredibly good bakeries here in Germany, I don’t think I’ll run out of different kinds of bread to try anytime soon,” he says, though he adds he’s “always looking for unique loaves.” Jan slices his way through an entire loaf before moving on to a new one, with fans regarding each subsequent loaf as another “season” of his show. Jan 说，他的日常工作与食品行业毫无关系，他自己也从不烘焙面包。“在德国，我们有太多非常棒的面包店了，我想我短期内不会尝试完所有种类的面包，”他说，但他补充道，他“一直在寻找独特的面包”。Jan 会切完一整条面包后再换下一条，粉丝们将每一条新面包视为他节目的一个新“季度”。
So far, Jan’s favorite bread has been the Frankenlaib, the traditional round German sourdough loaf that yielded his recent Golden Slice. His least favorite, he says, “despite a good performance,” was a square, block-shaped loaf of whole grain bread. That’s because, perfectionist that he is, he doesn’t believe in shortcuts: “Even though we performed really well toward the end, I personally don’t find the result on a square loaf as impressive as cutting a ‘real,’ traditionally shaped loaf of bread,” Jan explains. 到目前为止，Jan 最喜欢的面包是 Frankenlaib，这是一种传统的德国圆形酸种面包，他最近的“黄金切片”就是出自这种面包。他说，他最不喜欢的是一种方形的全麦面包，尽管“表现不错”。这是因为作为完美主义者，他不相信捷径：“尽管我们在最后表现得很好，但我个人认为，切方形面包的结果不如切‘真正’的传统形状面包那样令人印象深刻，”Jan 解释道。
Like any professional athlete, Jan has his off days. In these moments, his viewers are quick to encourage him not to lose faith. Commenting on a less-than-stellar slice in May, one fan wrote: “Reflect on the mistake for 5 minutes and then move on. Tomorrow will be better!” Another quipped that while the slice made for a “tough” watch, he could “probably still eat it.” Jan has noted on one of his videos that the end of a loaf presents special difficulties in gripping and stabilization. “My personal Achilles’ heel,” he wrote. (The last time he struggled with one of these sections, a fan wrote: “You attempt the cuts others would consider end-pieces. You remain an inspiration of skill, art, and accountability.”) 像任何职业运动员一样，Jan 也有状态不佳的时候。每当这时，观众们总会迅速鼓励他不要失去信心。在评论五月份一次表现平平的切片时，一位粉丝写道：“反思五分钟，然后继续前进。明天会更好！”另一位打趣说，虽然这片面包看得人“很难受”，但他“大概还是能吃下去的”。Jan 在视频中提到，面包的末端在抓握和固定方面存在特殊困难。“这是我的阿喀琉斯之踵，”他写道。（上次他处理这类面包头时，一位粉丝写道：“你挑战了别人会直接放弃的末端部分。你依然是技巧、艺术和责任感的典范。”）
These moments become little lessons in tenacity, as well as the zen of a humble yet impossible endeavor. The actually perfect slice of bread may be forever out of reach. Striving toward this ideal, however, Jan offers us a riveting example of the indomitable human spirit. And the stumbles make the successes all the more emotional. As a commenter summed up in their reply to one of Jan’s best slices: “I’m on life support in the hospital. After watching this, I think I can say it’s my time to go. Thank you for these precious final moments you gave me.” 这些时刻成为了关于坚韧的小小课程，也体现了一种谦卑却又近乎不可能完成的任务所带来的禅意。真正完美的面包片可能永远无法触及。然而，在追求这一理想的过程中，Jan 为我们提供了一个人类不屈精神的动人范例。而那些挫折让成功显得更加感人。正如一位评论者在回复 Jan 最完美的作品之一时所总结的那样：“我正躺在医院靠生命维持系统生存。看完这个视频，我想我可以说是时候离开了。谢谢你给了我这些宝贵的最后时光。”
What’s more, Jan never loses sight of what’s really important: the delicious versatility of bread itself. A slightly lopsided slice still makes a fine snack. “It’s really important to me to mention that every single slice is eaten,” Jan says. “Sometimes plain, sometimes with butter, sometimes with butter and jam, or with cheese. Nothing goes to waste.” 更重要的是，Jan 从未忘记真正重要的事情：面包本身美味且多样。稍微歪斜的面包片依然是美味的零食。“对我来说，强调每一片面包都被吃掉了非常重要，”Jan 说，“有时直接吃，有时抹黄油，有时抹黄油和果酱，或者配奶酪。没有任何东西被浪费。”