How to Exist / 如何存在

Here’s an experiment for a true daredevil. Sit there for a three minutes, following two rules: Don’t do anything. Be content. 这是一个给真正胆大之人的实验。坐在那里三分钟，遵循两条规则：什么都别做。保持满足。

By “don’t do anything,” I mean don’t move, don’t fidget, don’t indulge any thoughts or daydreams. You’re allowed to breathe, and blink. 所谓“什么都别做”，是指不要移动、不要坐立不安、不要沉溺于任何想法或白日梦。你可以呼吸，也可以眨眼。

By “be content,” I mean be completely okay with your experience of doing nothing. Don’t try to change anything, and don’t get impatient with what’s happening. Be completely okay for three minutes. Try that now. 所谓“保持满足”，是指完全接纳你“无所事事”的体验。不要试图改变任何事情，也不要对正在发生的一切感到不耐烦。在这三分钟里保持完全的安然。现在就试试吧。

See how long it takes before you’re dying for it to be over. It’s oddly difficult to do nothing, and while you’re doing nothing, it’s oddly difficult to feel at ease. 看看你需要多久才会迫不及待地想要结束这一切。无所事事竟是如此困难，而在无所事事时，想要感到自在也同样困难。

There’s such a strong urge to do something: look around the room, rehash a conversation, explore your incisors with your tongue, wiggle your toes, anything. When you stop doing everything and just exist, you almost feel like you’re dying. 你总有一种强烈的冲动想做点什么：环顾四周、回味一段对话、用舌头探索你的门牙、动动脚趾，什么都行。当你停止做任何事而仅仅是“存在”时，你几乎会感到自己快要死掉了。

This is a crazy thing to notice after having been alive so many years — that your existence itself is so much to bear. There’s always something wrong, even when everything’s fine. It’s as if you can only bear the present moment when you’re trying change it into something else. 活了这么多年才意识到这一点真是疯狂——原来仅仅是“存在”本身就如此难以承受。即使一切都好，也总觉得哪里不对劲。仿佛只有当你试图将当下变成别的东西时，你才能忍受当下的时刻。

This is the strange condition of the human being. It’s allergic to its natural habitat, which is the present moment. In order to cope with this allergy, it perpetually seeks things: feelings and experiences that are not yet present. It wants to always be getting the hell out of here. 这就是人类奇怪的处境。人类对自己的自然栖息地——即“当下”——过敏。为了应对这种过敏，人类不断地寻求各种事物：那些尚未到来的感受和体验。它总是想方设法逃离这里。

You might think that you’re free from this problem sometimes, at least in those moments when you get the thing you’re seeking. Say you’re finally eating the cookie-dough ice cream flurry you looked forward to all day. If you pay close attention as you eat it, you’ll notice that you want to move past this moment too. Lingering on any one spoonful too long becomes unbearable. There’s a powerful drive to go on to the next one. That’s why you ordered a Large. 你可能认为自己有时能摆脱这个问题，至少在你得到所追求之物的那一刻。比如，你终于吃到了期待一整天的曲奇面团冰淇淋。如果你在吃的时候仔细观察，你会发现你同样想跳过这一刻。在任何一勺上停留太久都变得难以忍受。有一种强大的驱动力促使你吃下一勺。这就是为什么你点了一份大杯的。

Not a real destination / 并非真正的终点

This most fundamental problem of human life is so easy to overlook because our entire lives are made of the coping strategy. So much of what we seek is solely to flee the experience of being here. People buy things they don’t need, start fights with their partners, eat when they’re not hungry, and scroll miserable and inane content, just to escape the feeling of existence as it already is. 人类生活中这个最根本的问题很容易被忽视，因为我们的一生都是由这种应对策略构成的。我们所追求的很多东西，仅仅是为了逃避“身在此处”的体验。人们购买不需要的东西、与伴侣争吵、在不饿时进食、刷着那些令人沮丧且无意义的内容，仅仅是为了逃避当下这种存在的感受。

Notice the powerful urge to sip your drink or fiddle with something when the conversation dies at a dinner party. Or how quickly your phone comes out when there’s an unexpected wait. Existence without doing is brutal! 留意一下在晚宴上谈话冷场时，你想要喝口水或摆弄点什么的强烈冲动。或者在意外等待时，你掏出手机的速度有多快。没有“做事”的存在是残酷的！

Each year, roughly 100 firefighters are convicted of arson in North America, often on multiple counts. Most often they are young, new firefighters, frustrated by the lack of action. 在北美，每年大约有100名消防员因纵火罪被定罪，通常涉及多项指控。他们大多是年轻的新手消防员，因缺乏行动（出警）而感到沮丧。

Framed / 被困住

And hilariously, from a 2014 study on doing nothing: In 11 studies, we found that participants typically did not enjoy spending 6 to 15 minutes in a room by themselves with nothing to do but think, that they enjoyed doing mundane external activities much more, and that many preferred to administer electric shocks to themselves instead of being left alone with their thoughts. 有趣的是，一项关于“无所事事”的2014年研究显示：在11项研究中，我们发现参与者通常不喜欢独自在房间里待6到15分钟，除了思考什么都不能做；他们更喜欢进行平凡的外部活动；许多人甚至宁愿对自己进行电击，也不愿独自面对自己的思绪。

Even thinking is often a sneaky way of escaping the existence; rumination isn’t so much about trying to solve your problems, as it is about going elsewhere in your mind to escape anxiety and uncertainty. Apparently, electric shocks work even better. 即使是思考，也往往是一种逃避存在的隐蔽方式；反刍式思考与其说是为了解决问题，不如说是为了在脑海中去往别处，以逃避焦虑和不确定性。显然，电击的效果甚至更好。

How to become more comfortable with existence / 如何与存在相处得更自在

You can develop the ability to exist a lot more comfortably. You do it by practicing existing, a few seconds at a time, without trying to change anything about how existence feels right now. Basically you sit, do nothing, and notice how it feels to do nothing. (It will probably feel subtly weird and unsettled.) 你可以培养一种让自己更自在地存在的能力。方法是练习“存在”，一次几秒钟，不要试图改变当下存在的任何感受。基本上，你坐着，什么都不做，并留意“无所事事”的感觉。（这可能会让你感到微妙的怪异和不安。）

You then see if you can completely embrace these feelings, without the usual squirming and looking elsewhere. But you’ll do it only for a few seconds at a time, using your breath as a measuring stick. 然后看看你是否能完全拥抱这些感受，而不像往常那样坐立不安或看向别处。但你每次只做几秒钟，用呼吸作为衡量标准。

Confronting existential horror / 直面存在的恐惧

Here’s how to do it without feeling overwhelmed: (If you have PTSD or any other psychiatric disorder, check with a professional before you do this.) 以下是如何在不感到不知所措的情况下进行练习：（如果你患有创伤后应激障碍或其他精神疾病，请在尝试前咨询专业人士。）

Sit, eyes open or closed, and relax your body as completely as possible. Take long, easy breaths. Relax every muscle you can. Just do your best. 坐下，睁眼或闭眼，尽可能彻底地放松身体。进行深长、轻松的呼吸。放松你能放松的每一块肌肉。尽力而为即可。

When you’re ready, breathe in while keeping the body supple like that. Open to every feeling that occurs during the inbreath: tingling, weirdness, unsettledness, doubt, whatever. Let the whole experience wash over you like warm surf, for that few seconds it takes to inhale. Let it go. Give yourself a moment. 准备好后，在保持身体柔软的状态下吸气。向吸气过程中出现的每一种感觉敞开：刺痛、怪异、不安、怀疑，无论是什么。让整个体验像温暖的浪潮一样冲刷你，就在吸气的那几秒钟里。然后释放它。给自己一点时间。

When you’re ready, do it again: embrace the entire experience of one inbreath. Just let the whole experience happen to you – no need to study it, or figure it out. Just embrace the whole bouquet of feelings, for the few seconds it takes. Push away nothing, just for that few seconds of breathing in. 准备好后，再做一次：拥抱一次吸气的完整体验。让整个体验自然发生——不需要研究它，也不需要弄明白它。只需在吸气的几秒钟内，拥抱那所有的感受。什么都不要推开，仅仅在那几秒钟的吸气里。

Once you can do that decently well (no need to be perfect), try the same thing but with an outbreath. Stay relaxed and open throughout the length of one whole outbreath. No defending, no tensing. Be a human puddle. 一旦你能做得不错（不需要完美），尝试用呼气做同样的事情。在整个呼气过程中保持放松和敞开。不要防御，不要紧张。像一滩人类的水洼一样。

If you get distracted or frazzled, or you do tense up, that’s okay. Take a few breaths off to recollect yourself. Then try again. You have infinite breaths to try this with. 如果你分心、烦躁或紧张了，没关系。休息几次呼吸，重新调整自己。然后再试一次。你有无限的呼吸次数来尝试这个练习。

Repeat this process, one half-breath (an inhale or an exhale) at a time. The half-breath is a small enough span of time that you can usually stay open for the 5-10 seconds it takes. Once you can do it on both an inbreath and an outbreath, see if you can start stringing them together, staying open throughout the whole breathing cycle. 重复这个过程，一次只做一个半呼吸（一次吸气或一次呼气）。半呼吸的时间跨度足够短，你通常可以在这5到10秒内保持敞开。一旦你能同时在吸气和呼气时做到这一点，看看是否能将它们串联起来，在整个呼吸周期中保持敞开。

Do this for five minutes at first, including any breaks. Then see what happens when you do it longer, and with fewer gaps. Basically you’ll be resting — just existing. 起初先做五分钟，包括休息时间。然后看看当你做得更久、间隙更少时会发生什么。基本上，你将是在休息——仅仅是存在着。