Welcome to Dogs Anonymous, the Online Support Group for People With Difficult Dogs
Welcome to Dogs Anonymous, the Online Support Group for People With Difficult Dogs
欢迎来到“狗狗匿名会”：一个为养狗困难人士提供的在线互助小组
Just past 6 pm on a recent Wednesday night, half a dozen pet owners logged into a Zoom meeting to confess something they’re afraid to talk about in public: They’re fed up with their dogs. 最近一个周三晚上刚过 6 点，六位宠物主人登录了 Zoom 会议，坦白了一件他们在公共场合不敢谈论的事情：他们对自己的狗感到厌倦了。
Before discussion began, Louise Crane, the president and cofounder of Dogs Anonymous, the organization hosting the meeting, recited the seven acknowledgements participants must agree to, the first being, “I admit that life with my dog is not what I imagined.” Crane wore a black T-shirt exclaiming “Abolish ICE” in thick white lettering. 在讨论开始前，负责举办此次会议的组织“狗狗匿名会”（Dogs Anonymous）的总裁兼联合创始人路易丝·克兰（Louise Crane）宣读了参与者必须同意的七项声明，第一项是：“我承认，与我的狗共同生活并非我所想象的那样。”克兰当时穿着一件黑色 T 恤，上面用粗大的白色字体写着“废除移民及海关执法局”（Abolish ICE）。
“I may need to be talked off a ledge,” one attendee said as conversation kicked off, mentioning that she wasn’t sure how to handle her dog’s mood swings. Her family had been through a series of new changes: Their other dog died and they were also fostering one, and now their boxer was “unsettled” and “grumpy” to the point he was doing more “demand barking, which has never been like him.” “我可能需要有人劝我冷静下来，”一位与会者在对话开始时说道，她提到自己不知道该如何处理狗狗的情绪波动。她的家庭经历了一系列变故：他们原本的另一只狗去世了，他们还收养了一只寄养犬，现在家里的拳师犬变得“不安”且“暴躁”，甚至开始频繁地“索求性吠叫”，这在以前是从未有过的。
Other attendees confessed their private shames: a shepherd mix had started engaging in more intense “resource guarding” when around other dogs—the term for when dogs aggressively protect something they value. “He got into it with my sister’s little weiner dog the other day because they both were begging for food.” One woman, who lives in a busy apartment complex, needed advice on how to better handle her dachshund’s constant barking at strangers. (In the spirit of anonymity, Dogs Anonymous asked WIRED to leave out the names and identifying characteristics of its participants.) 其他与会者也坦白了他们私下的羞愧：一只牧羊犬混种在与其他狗相处时，开始表现出更强烈的“资源守护”行为——这是指狗对它们珍视的东西进行攻击性保护。“前几天它和我姐姐的小腊肠犬打了一架，因为它们都在乞讨食物。”一位住在繁忙公寓大楼里的女士则寻求建议，想知道如何更好地处理她家腊肠犬对着陌生人不停吠叫的问题。（出于匿名原则，狗狗匿名会要求《连线》杂志隐去参与者的姓名和身份特征。）
Shame is the emotion attendees struggle with the most in these meetings. “The embarrassment of having a dog that’s losing its shit, especially as a woman,” is difficult for some people, Crane tells me when we speak a few days before. 羞愧感是与会者在这些会议中最难克服的情绪。克兰在几天前与我交谈时说：“对于某些人来说，尤其是作为女性，拥有一只‘失控’的狗会让人感到非常尴尬。”
Crane launched Dogs Anonymous, a nonprofit focused on training and emotional support by animal behavior experts, in 2025 in an attempt to help people vocalize their shame. 克兰于 2025 年创办了“狗狗匿名会”。这是一个由动物行为专家提供训练和情感支持的非营利组织，旨在帮助人们表达出内心的羞愧。
“We wanted to give people not just a space they could trust for advice on behavior issues or if they are having a crisis with their dog, but also a place where they don’t feel judged to ask questions and admit that maybe it’s a little bit too much for them,” Daphne Mendoza-Tervanis, a cofounder, says. “我们不仅想为人们提供一个可以信任的空间，让他们在遇到行为问题或与狗狗相处出现危机时获得建议，还想提供一个让他们在提问或承认‘这对我来说可能有点难以承受’时，不会感到被评判的地方，”联合创始人达芙妮·门多萨-特瓦尼斯（Daphne Mendoza-Tervanis）说道。
Sessions are held weekly and span first-time and experienced dog owners, adopters, foster caregivers, and occasionally trainers seeking tips on how to work aggression cases. The meetings are primarily attended by US residents, though previous sessions have attracted dog owners from Singapore, Costa Rica, and beyond. 会议每周举行一次，参与者涵盖了新手和资深狗主人、领养人、寄养照顾者，偶尔也有寻求处理攻击性案例技巧的训练师。会议主要由美国居民参加，但之前的会议也吸引了来自新加坡、哥斯达黎加等地的狗主人。
Jerri Scherff, a cofounder who is 13 years sober, had first-hand experience with recovery programs, and it was important to her that Dogs Anonymous also include some of the same traditions as Alcoholics Anonymous. “We wanted to create something that was repeatable, sustainable, and eventually autonomous, which is the way that recovery groups work,” she says. The most important one was anonymity—what is discussed in the group stays in the group. 联合创始人杰里·谢尔夫（Jerri Scherff）已经戒酒 13 年，她对康复项目有亲身经验。对她来说，让“狗狗匿名会”包含一些与“匿名戒酒互助社”（AA）相同的传统非常重要。“我们想创造一种可复制、可持续且最终能自主运作的模式，这正是康复小组的运作方式，”她说。其中最重要的一点就是匿名性——在小组中讨论的内容必须留在小组内。
The founders say the effectiveness of the group doesn’t necessarily stem from the advice they impart during meetings but comes from members bonding over shared struggles. “The magic of AA the community is that you are going through something that somebody else has either been through or they’re going through the same thing,” Crane adds. This approach, called “sharing your experience, strength and hope,” is a core part of the 12-step recovery program and encourages members to analyze their experience in a way that makes them feel less alone. 创始人们表示，该小组的有效性并不一定源于他们在会议中传授的建议，而是源于成员们在共同的挣扎中建立的联系。“AA 社区的魔力在于，你所经历的事情，别人要么已经经历过，要么正在经历同样的事情，”克兰补充道。这种被称为“分享你的经验、力量和希望”的方法，是 12 步康复计划的核心部分，它鼓励成员以一种让自己不再感到孤独的方式来剖析自己的经历。
According to a survey published in the scientific journal Pets in June examining guilt, burden, and wellbeing among owners of dogs with behavior problems, 53 percent of respondents reported feeling alone, and 78 percent reported “elevated caregiver burden,” a term for the emotional and financial strain of being a caregiver. 根据 6 月份发表在科学期刊《宠物》（Pets）上的一项调查，该调查研究了有行为问题的狗主人所感受到的内疚、负担和幸福感，结果显示 53% 的受访者感到孤独，78% 的受访者报告了“升高的照护者负担”，这是一个描述作为照护者所承受的情感和经济压力的术语。
During a meeting in August, the group took a beat to dig into the particulars of why shame was the first emotion owners often experience when their dog reacts aggressively. One attendee said it threatened their sense of belonging in a neighborhood they already felt out of place in. Another mentioned how it made them feel judged because others wouldn’t think they were a capable owner. “There’s so much shame when you don’t get Lassie,” Crane says of the fictional TV dog that, for many Gen Xers and millennials, represented the ideal companion. 在 8 月的一次会议中，小组成员花时间深入探讨了为什么当狗表现出攻击性时，主人首先感受到的情绪往往是羞愧。一位与会者说，这威胁到了他们在社区中的归属感，而他们本就觉得在那里格格不入。另一位提到，这让他们感到被评判，因为别人会认为他们不是称职的主人。“当你没能养出‘莱西’（Lassie）那样的狗时，会有巨大的羞愧感，”克兰谈到这只虚构的电视名犬时说，对于许多 X 世代和千禧一代来说，它代表了理想的伴侣。
“I just broke down crying on the way home from my dog’s reactivity training,” one owner in New Orleans posted on Threads last month, writing that she signed up for classes after a woman threw coffee at her “anxious pit” for reacting badly. Dog reactivity is the one issue most owners deal with. A 2026 study by researchers at the University of Lincoln shows that behaviors group into three main categories—oral attacks, frustration, and posturing—with lunging and barking reported as the most frequent symptoms. “从狗狗的反应训练回家的路上，我崩溃大哭，”新奥尔良的一位主人上个月在 Threads 上发帖说。她写道，此前因为她的“焦虑比特犬”反应过度，一名女子向它泼了咖啡，之后她才报名参加了训练课程。狗狗的反应过度是大多数主人都要面对的问题。林肯大学研究人员 2026 年的一项研究表明，这些行为主要分为三类——口头攻击、挫败感和姿态展示，其中猛扑和吠叫是报告最频繁的症状。
“After three sessions it seems like the main lessons are to avoid triggers and anticipate my dog’s reactions,” the New Orleans owner continued. “As someone who has spent my entire life anticipating human volatility, I’m exhausted. Is there no other way?” “上了三节课后，主要的经验似乎就是避开诱因并预判狗狗的反应，”这位新奥尔良的主人继续写道。“作为一个一生都在预判人类情绪波动的人，我已经精疲力竭了。难道没有别的方法了吗？”
Another Threads user suggested she attend Dogs Anonymous, replying, “Part of what you’ll do here is grieve the dog you thought you would have as you grow closer to the one you have.” 另一位 Threads 用户建议她参加“狗狗匿名会”，并回复道：“在这里，你的一部分工作是为你原本以为会拥有的那只狗哀悼，同时与你现在拥有的这只狗建立更亲密的关系。”
No Dogs Anonymous meeting is the same. Some weeks attendees might discuss what it’s like dealing with their dog’s anxiety issues or ask for advice about going through the euthanasia process. Other weeks, they might vent about life. “The other day we were talking about random things that our dogs had pooped,” Mendoza-Tervanis says. “It was a lot of money and tampons.” 没有两次“狗狗匿名会”的会议是完全一样的。有些周，与会者可能会讨论应对狗狗焦虑症的感受，或者询问关于安乐死过程的建议。其他时候，他们可能会发泄生活中的不满。“前几天我们还在聊狗狗拉出来的各种奇怪东西，”门多萨-特瓦尼斯说，“里面有很多钱和卫生棉条。”
Unlike other support groups for owners of dogs with behavioral challenges, DA prioritizes the owner first. “Why we’re in the problem that we are right now is because we are putting dogs before people,” says Mendoza-Tervanis, who has worked in pet care for 15 years. 与其他针对有行为挑战的狗主人的支持小组不同，DA 将主人放在第一位。“我们之所以陷入现在的困境，是因为我们把狗放在了人之前，”在宠物护理行业工作了 15 年的门多萨-特瓦尼斯说。