A Health Update

本文为原文前 6,000 字符的节选翻译，完整内容请查看原文。

I’m Craig Hockenberry and this is where I write for the web. I make apps and run websites.

我是 Craig Hockenberry，这是我在网络上写作的地方。我制作应用程序并运营网站。

You can learn more about me, view my résumé, check out my source code, or follow me.

你可以了解更多关于我的信息，查看我的简历，查看我的源代码，或者关注我。

I’m writing this post from a hospital bed. And I couldn’t be happier.

我正躺在病床上写这篇文章。我感到无比高兴。

You hear folks say chemotherapy sucks, but until you go through it yourself, you don’t really know how bad it can be. It remains a popular activity only because it’s better than the alternative.

你常听人说化疗很糟糕，但除非你自己亲身经历，否则你真的不知道它有多痛苦。它之所以仍是一种常见的治疗手段，仅仅是因为它比另一种选择（死亡）要好。

My first exposure to chemotherapy was with this contraption: a fluoroscope.

我第一次接触化疗是通过这个装置：荧光透视机。

Every week, they used this machine to tap into my spine, extract 5 mg of fluid for analysis, and replace it with 5 mg of methotrexate. There was only a local anesthetic during the procedure and the hardest part was knowing that there was a needle, turned up to eleven, going into my back.

每周，他们都用这台机器穿刺我的脊椎，抽取 5 毫克脑脊液进行分析，并注入 5 毫克甲氨蝶呤。手术过程中只有局部麻醉，最难受的部分在于明知有一根针正以极大的力度刺入我的背部。

It was afterwards that things got dicey: the nerves in your spine float in a thecal sac filled with spinal fluid that acts as a kind of insulator. Since we were exchanging the fluids, it was easy for the levels to get out of balance and for the nerves to react.

手术之后情况变得棘手：脊椎神经漂浮在充满脑脊液的鞘囊中，这些液体起着一种绝缘体的作用。由于我们在交换液体，很容易导致水平衡失调，从而引发神经反应。

The result were the worst headaches I’ve ever experienced. The good news is that the remedy was simple: to lie flat on my back to ease the pressure gravity was putting on my spine.

结果就是我经历过最严重的头痛。好消息是补救方法很简单：平躺以减轻重力对脊椎造成的压力。

That was also the bad news: many days were spent lying prone and trying to avoid boredom. Watching shows and scrolling timelines just doesn’t cut it when that’s all you can do.

这也是坏消息：许多日子都在平躺中度过，试图排解无聊。当你只能做这件事时，看节目和刷时间线根本无法打发时间。

Thankfully, the spinal headaches subsided quickly when the six-week course of lumbar punctures finished at the end of January. But my body began to face a new challenge: chemotherapy infusions of Bendamustine and Rituximab.

谢天谢地，当一月底为期六周的腰椎穿刺疗程结束后，脊椎性头痛很快就消退了。但我的身体开始面临新的挑战：苯达莫司汀和利妥昔单抗的化疗输注。

Everyone experiences chemotherapy differently. Just as every body is different, so is the reaction to the chemicals that are killing the cancer.

每个人对化疗的体验各不相同。正如每个人的身体都有所不同，对杀死癌细胞的化学药物的反应也各不相同。

The first effect I noticed was in my tastebuds: everything I put in my mouth had a slightly metalic taste, so my eating habits changed. My beloved morning coffee was replaced by tea, food needed a lot less salt, and I started eating a blander diet (cottage cheese with berries remains a favorite).

我注意到的第一个影响是在味蕾上：我放进嘴里的每样东西都有轻微的金属味，所以我的饮食习惯改变了。我钟爱的晨间咖啡被茶取代，食物需要的盐分大大减少，我开始吃更清淡的饮食（茅屋芝士配浆果依然是我的最爱）。

Some people experience nausea and other gastric issues: luckily, I avoided that. I also didn’t have any hair loss, but my normally thick and curly hair lost its body and became lifeless: an external expression of what was happening to me internally.

有些人会出现恶心和其他胃部问题：幸运的是，我避开了这些。我也没有脱发，但我原本浓密卷曲的头发失去了质感，变得毫无生气：这是我体内正在发生的事情的外在表现。

As someone who’s always been active and strong, the biggest overall effect of chemo was losing muscle mass and suffering from overall fatigue. It felt very strange to be weak.

作为一个一直活跃且强壮的人，化疗最大的整体影响是肌肉流失和全身疲劳。感到虚弱是非常奇怪的体验。

I was on a 28 day cycle for my infusions: during the first week I got pumped full of chemicals and then spent three weeks letting my body process them. One of the things they gave me with the infusion on a Tuesday was a dose of steroids that gives the body a boost during the initial onslaught. But by the weekend, that wore off and I felt like shit. It usually took until the middle of the second week before I started feeling human again.

我的输注周期是 28 天：第一周我被注入大量化学药物，然后花三周时间让身体处理它们。周二输注时他们给我的药物之一是类固醇，它能在最初的冲击中给身体提供动力。但到了周末，药效消失，我感觉糟透了。通常要到第二周中期，我才开始感觉自己像个正常人。

I didn’t lose my appetite, but I wasn’t eating more than normal. The problem was my metabolism was working overtime and my calorie intake didn’t adjust. I lost 50 pounds over the course of a couple of months and eventually got to the point where I was having five meals a day. Too bad it all tasted bad.

我没有失去食欲，但我吃得并不比平时多。问题在于我的新陈代谢超负荷运转，而我的热量摄入没有相应调整。在几个月的时间里，我瘦了 50 磅，最终到了每天吃五顿饭的地步。可惜这些食物尝起来都很糟糕。

One thing that I did to fight my diminished capacity was a daily walk. Anyone who exercises regularly knows that there are always plenty of reasons to avoid it: you didn’t sleep well, you have an important project to finish, or you’re sore from a previous workout. When you’re doing chemo, add feeling like absolute shit to that list.

为了对抗能力下降，我做的一件事是每天散步。任何经常锻炼的人都知道，总有很多理由不去运动：没睡好、有重要的项目要完成，或者之前的锻炼导致肌肉酸痛。当你正在进行化疗时，还得加上“感觉糟透了”这一条。

I still had nerve damage in my spine, so my “walk” was more like a shuffle. Thankfully my wife found some awesome walking sticks to aid with my balance. They are clearly labelled “Not A Medical Device” but they are my most important medical device.

我的脊椎神经仍有损伤，所以我的“散步”更像是拖着脚走。谢天谢地，我妻子找到了一些很棒的助行杖来帮助我保持平衡。它们被明确标注为“非医疗器械”，但它们是我最重要的医疗设备。

My daily exercise was just like any gym workout: dread at the start, joy at the end. Sometimes there wasn’t much behind that joy: at my lowest point, a walk around the block on flat ground got my heart rate up to 160 bpm. Breathtaking, literally.

我的日常锻炼就像任何健身房训练一样：开始时恐惧，结束时快乐。有时这种快乐背后并没有太多内容：在我最低谷的时候，在平地上绕街区走一圈，我的心率就达到了每分钟 160 次。真的是“令人窒息”。

That low point was in March. In the week following my infusion, where I was already feeling like crap, I came down with a type of pneumonia that affects people with weakened immune systems. I had no strength and my blood oxygen level plummeted below 90%. Getting from the living room to the kitchen for a drink of water felt like running a marathon, and then my Apple Watch pinged to inform me that I was having an episode of atrial fibrillation. It was a lot and I honestly had thoughts of “is this how it ends?”

那个低谷是在三月。在输注后的那一周，我本来就感觉很糟糕，结果又患上了一种影响免疫系统受损人群的肺炎。我浑身无力，血氧水平骤降至 90% 以下。从客厅走到厨房喝杯水感觉就像跑了一场马拉松，接着我的 Apple Watch 发出提示，告诉我正在经历心房颤动。这一切太多了，我真的想过：“这就是结局吗？”

Thankfully, antibiotics battled the pneumonia quickly and the chemo effects subsided. My doctor offered to skip the next cycle of chemotherapy, but I decided to push on. There is only one way to be done with a thing.

谢天谢地，抗生素很快战胜了肺炎，化疗的副作用也消退了。医生建议跳过下一个化疗周期，但我决定坚持下去。完成一件事只有一种方法。

Throughout all of the infusions, the nerve damage that occurred before the lymphoma discovery didn’t improve. As I said above, my gait and balance were severely compromised: going up and down stairs was particularly challenging. The tingling sensations on my backside and numbness near my abdomen became a bigger concern with each passing month. It wasn’t getting better and I feared it was a permanent condition.

在整个输注过程中，在发现淋巴瘤之前发生的神经损伤并没有改善。正如我上面所说，我的步态和平衡能力严重受损：上下楼梯尤其困难。臀部的刺痛感和腹部附近的麻木感随着每个月的过去变得更加令人担忧。情况没有好转，我担心这是一种永久性的状况。

I finished the last of my infusions in May and my body slowly started to recover. Food started tasting better, and my strength and stamina started to return. My daily walks got longer: first a quarter of a mile, then half a mile, then a mile, and then something fantastic happened.

我在五月份完成了最后一次输注，我的身体开始慢慢恢复。食物尝起来变好了，我的力量和耐力也开始回归。我每天的散步距离变长了：先是四分之一英里，然后是半英里，再是一英里，然后发生了一件美妙的事情。

At the end of a walk around our local state park, I went to grab something in the car glovebox. As I did this, I tilted my head forward and the back of my legs lit up with a feeling I had never felt. Something was changing in my spine: and after a couple of weeks it was clear that this was a sign that the nerves were fixing themselves.

在当地州立公园散步结束时，我去拿车上手套箱里的东西。当我这样做时，我向前倾斜头部，我的腿后部产生了一种我从未感受过的感觉。我的脊椎里有什么东西正在改变：几周后，很明显这是一种神经正在自我修复的迹象。

Our guess is that the chemotherapy infusions, which attack white blood cells and other pa

我们的猜测是，化疗输注在攻击白细胞和其他部分时……